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The Gentle Let Down: No, You Cannot Bring Your Flavor of the Month to My Wedding

  Posted on December 22, 2014

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Weddings are some of the most fun, exciting, and memorable events that you can attend, and your own wedding will most likely be one of the most important days of your life.

When planning your wedding, however, one of the most tasking jobs is creating the guest list; a lot of thought goes into these invites, and while you want to include as many people as possible, many factors prohibit you from simply inviting everyone who crosses your mind. Deciding who does and who doesn’t get to bring a plus one is even more challenging, but at the end of the day you need to remember that it is your day and these decisions are to be made at your discretion.

Generally, plus ones are reserved for the wedding party and other very close friends or family members. It is understandable why most guests would prefer to bring a date to the wedding, but unfortunately it is just not feasibly possible. Many people try to sell their “flavor of the month” boyfriend or girlfriend as a significant date for the event, but generally these choices come from a place of not wanting to be alone at a romantic event rather than wanting their true chosen companion to enjoy the day with them. Luckily, there are many defenses you can use when rejecting someone’s current fling as a legitimate wedding guest.

The first reason you can use is price – weddings are very expensive! Besides the ceremony itself, most other aspects of the day come with a price, and many dinner and drink options are priced per head. These costs add up very quickly once guests start coming up with plus ones that they would like to invite, and so this is a very legitimate reason to turn away a guest.

Another good reason is simply the whole idea behind the day. This is YOUR wedding day, and it should be joined by people who know you, love you, and are truly supportive of your relationship. If a potential guest is simply at the top of someone’s current love list, chances are they don’t know you or your partner, which would make it difficult for them to support your marriage.

Finally, allowing temporary flings as guests also has the tendency to create negative connotations for whichever guest invited them. This plus one may either behave badly at the wedding or be tossed to the curb the next week, so from then on that guest is going to associate your wedding with those bad memories, which is not how your wedding should be remembered.

The conversation may not be enjoyable, but more often than not it is better to refrain from allowing a potentially unwanted guest attending your wedding. This day is about you, your partner, and your new life, and should be celebrated by those who actually know you.

When it is all said and done, your guest will understand, and your big day will be better for it.

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